Today makes it seven years ago since my boyfriend died. Time goes by but it doesn’t really make it “easier”. I always feel like “easier” is the wrong word. 

Some years I am sad… some years I am angry… some years I am numb… this year I feel like I’ve gone back to being more angry at the situation. 

Angry and resentful … because I see the rest of the world moving on and being happy and living lives without him and I feel that everyone has forgotten him – how kind he was, how generous he was, how funny he was… it’s like everyone else is mocking you with their happiness about life on the days like today… 

I suppose I’m resentful for feeling like life has just never truly moved on… it’s changed – drastically … but it hasn’t MOVED… 

I know he’s good wherever he is, I’ve never worried about that. He was too good to be taken anywhere but straight to wherever is the best place you can be after this life… But you cannot begin to imagine how the removal of one person from your life in such a way, can ultimately change everything you ever had planned/dreamed/ believed in. 

I don’t even feel like I know what to say this time around… seven… how did it even get to be seven years since my life stood still? 


2 thoughts on “7. 

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