A tragic hero always has a flaw. In the case of Brutus, his rigid belief in honour meant that he assumed that all of the other conspirators believed in the same purpose (saving Rome) as he did. In the case of Okonkwo he also was guilty of rigidity and an inability to adapt or change when the missionaries came and introduced a new religion (Christianity).
Rigidity is definitely a major flaw that I have. While it can at times be a trait that holds merit, I know that I have expectations that people would be as conscientious or intent as I am about certain things. Every end of term there is a deadline of putting in term / exam marks that is systematically NOT met by other members of staff. I am always on time – well I am always earlier than the deadline – yet many of them go days past the deadline. The fact that they are late is bad enough but probably the bigger issue is that they don’t say that they cannot meet the deadline / inform anyone. So when I go to write comments BASED on the marks – surprise surprise – there aren’t any marks to comment on.
Being late with marks then means that they are impacting upon MY PRODUCTIVITY and that is where the problem grows and me losing my temper begins, because I then see this as provacation. I continually say if you know you will be late SAY SOMETHING yet they do not, so I then see it as a concerted effort on their part to GET me vexed. Today a colleague suggested that I adjust to the fact that people will always never meet their deadlines and that I should not get angry about it because their behavior will never change.
But I know this is an impossibility for me. There are certain fundamental aspects of my job that I do not compromise – I am not late, I do not miss deadlines, I do not leave my syllabus incomplete / unfinished and the like. I want to know that there is nothing more I could have done for any class when the year comes to an end.
While others not meeting the end of term deadline is not a big deal to most, it is something that continues to IRK me. It is irresponsible. Moreso because those same people will then go into meetings and complain about students not meeting deadlines when you yourself cannot meet your own! So then I see them as hypocritical. Aside from which, I find it disrespectful that we are all in the same place everyday and there is no common courtesy for any of them to at least say / leave a post it note even stating that they are running behind time.
Maybe I am “old school” in some respects. But to me these “little” things are what add to the general indiscipline in the world. Unfortunately I hold these people to the same standard that I have for myself when I suppose I should have no expectation about their behavior since we are all different and what is important to me may not be as important to them.
However I cannot see myself giving up my sense of rigidity… I shall have to die knowing that it was my flaw.