Health

I’ve been trying to make this improvement in my everyday lifestyle so that it is a bit healthier. 

This is not a weight loss goal since I am very small in size but it’s about the abnormal cell readings and just overall general health (blood pressure and that sort of thing).

I did a lot of reading and berries and tumeric in particular seem to be two major things I need to encorporate  into my diet. So I am now quite the connessieur of afternoon salads… Spinach, tomato, extra Virginia olive oil, chia seeds, strawberries, blue berries and some feta cheese… Not bad actually…

I ordered an infusion bottle so that I can start trying infused water as well. Since my vacation is coming to an end I figured when I go back out to work I could take it with me. I tried strawberries yesterday and I’m trying blueberries and lemon water today.. Although for regular everyday I think it will be cucumber and lemon mostly (strawberries and blueberries are not cheap here in the Caribbean!). 

Tumeric I’ve tried in tea – it is very strong- but I’m trying to get used to the taste of what is very much like curry in my tea.

I know I haven’t been able to get any kind of exercise schedule going but I know when I go back out to work I will be walking / moving around way more than I am now and will probably start back jogging twice a week. 

I’ve tried to make an effort in cutting down sugar (though my love for coca cola prevails I’m down to a mini can a day / one every two days and hoping to cut down more eventually). Also less rice and pasta … 

I’m hoping that by January when I retest there will be an improvement and just that aside from that I will feel an improvement overall with my body and certain things such as hydration, skin etc. 

But I’ve made some progress definitely in the last month.

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Six years.

Sunday was six years since my boyfriend died. I don’t think it gets any “easier” I think easier is just not the right word for it… There’s still that dull ache that just… Exists… 

We went to mass as usual and then i went behind the church to where his ashes are interred and spoke to him. I do it every year on the anniversary of the day he died.

I really don’t ever think about the time we spent together but this time I did a post that briefly looked at six memories I had with him… More like firsts and lasts… First time we slept at a beach house etc and last time we spoke… Mind you we had so many memories together over those 8 years that it’s scary even to behind to think about them because I’ve buried them so deep it would be like opening an over stuffed vault so I tried to keep it simple. 

I think it’s still hard for me not because I think we were necessarily meant to be together, which I have said before, but moreso just because he was a good man and I feel like he is missing out on so much here… He never got to meet his two last nieces… Seven of the nine nieces and nephews won’t even remember him because they were either too young or not born when he died. He was a real family oriented person and he loved his sisters and their children, I wish he could have seen them grow up. 

I know it doesn’t make sense asking why because there is no answer to that… Why do bad people get to live to old age doing bad all their lives and the good die young and people mourn them for the rest of THEIR lives… 

But this year I was able to focus more on some happy times spent together and continuing to acknowledge that I am sure that he is in a good place – that I have never doubted. 

I will always love him but I feel like maybe it’s time now that I can begin to really accept and not dwell as much on the fact that he is gone. I know he would have wanted me to find joy in life even though it is without him being physically present. He will always be with me though because I will never forget him. 

Vacay cont’d… 

From my villa I can hear the ocean. I know I’ve spoken before of how the sound of the ocean is one of the most (if not the most) calming sounds you can hear. 

An old friend passed by yesterday and brought his wife for us to meet. She was raised on a continent so when she came to live here when they were married it was her first sight of the ocean … I couldn’t fathom it – not knowing what the ocean looks like.

Life on an island means as you are born somebody is going to dip you in the sea. Salt water good / can cure for just about anything as far as islanders are concerned… The flu, painful joints… probably even heart break I’m sure you might hear.

The resounding roar and crash of the waves against the rocks and the shore… The vastness of the ocean and the mystery of what lies beneath. It is a whole other world we have yet to truly explore below the depths of the water. 

If ever you feel anxious or angry or upset… Go to the ocean if you can and sit and just listen. The rhythm of even your breath changes and you are bound to feel calmer… try it sometime.

Vacation getaway…

My mom decided that I am working too much. I’m supposed to be on summer vacation but I’m really booked for performances every weekend till work starts back. So she decided we would take a four days and get away to our sister island. 

Our sister island is vastly different to our island – it’s much smaller, a lot less fast paced, encourages feelings of relaxation immediately!. As I get on the plane to come over I already feel different … The vibe is just totally opposite to when I’m home. 

She rented a villa that we stayed in previously and I’ve just been trying to relax (trying being the operative word but you know how I am …). I was hoping to get some creative vibes while here but the time is going so fast it seems as if we just got here and Friday will come soon enough and we will be gone! 

The weather is great however and I’m getting lots of fantastic pics. I feel like I’m always more aware of nature and its beauty when I am over here… The ocean, the sunsets… Even the plants seem more alive! It’s been a good few days…