Anxiety.. Musings on Life

I have a lot of anxiety lately… Probably just a lot on my mind about life in general. 

Everything is so depressing in the news… I often wonder do people every really just realize the wonder and beauty of the world and recognize how we are destroying it along with ourselves… Do we really think we can continue on the way that we are and not expect some epic apocalyptic end?

Futuristic shows are no longer just the embodiment of someone’s imagination… They are more like an impending result to our present.

Why don’t all lives matter? Why don’t all races, religions, sexes, genders think that they is space enough in the world for everyone and everything? 

The human race has lost its way and I’m not sure it will ever find its way back to the path it needs to be on. 

Travel? No there’s terrorism

Children? No there’s Zika 

Jobs? No there’s recession

Live? No there’s hate 

At every turn there is something to thwart the attempt of those willing to “be”. Be an explorer of the world, be a part of creating the next generation, be of use to others… Just “be” regardless of who they are… 

How do I – one just barely middle class mixed race and mixed religion female in a third world country – enact change? How do I create purpose in what I do that makes my time spent here meaningful and can it encourage others to do the same?

I know that fear is and always has been the major obstacle in realizing the answer to that question. Fear of instability, poverty, seeming weak, not being good enough… I know that “all that stands in the way of yourself is you” and “you only have the power to change yourself” and “without challenges there would be no growth” but it’s one thing to know these things and another to truly LIVE it as TRUTH. 

I need to find a truth I can be happy living so that I find my place in the world and make it worth the time I was given here. I think only then would I be able to free myself from my anxiety. 

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