Relationship 0.0 

I realize I am not ready for a relationship. I’ve met a few new people but… I immediately get a sense of anxiety and almost paranoia about the person and then that makes me not even get to know anymore about them. 

My problem will always be trust. I will never trust anyone and moreso someone new. I feel like people are lying all of the time or just not upfront about what they really want and because of that you always end up getting yourself into a situation that you could have avoided if you just hadn’t put yourself out there. 

I figured out that I want someone who will be around but not all the time. I still think I need my own space and being around someone too much is something I can’t deal with. Some outings to movies and dinner would be fine but to say that I want to graduate past that point and say that I like someone enough to want to move in eventually … Is really just not something I would honestly consider. 

I think because everyone keeps saying I should meet someone and I’m wasting all my “good” years and I should want to be with someone is really why I feel like I should find someone… Not really because I truly believe I should look for someone. 

While I know I’m old enough to be “expired” in the grand scheme of getting to know someone new and having children … I think that’s just how it’s going to be. I’m just not interested. 

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2 thoughts on “Relationship 0.0 

  1. I know where you are coming from in terms of needing your own space and not wanting to be around someone all the time. In my previous relationship at one point it started to annoy me to exchange texts everyday, and see each other multiple days a week. I’m sorry you get feelings of anxiety and paranoia when meeting new people. I still think it’s worth continuing to look since there are people out there who are upfront. If the issue lies inside rather than with the other person then perhaps therapy could be an interesting avenue

    Liked by 1 person

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