I realize I am not ready for a relationship. I’ve met a few new people but… I immediately get a sense of anxiety and almost paranoia about the person and then that makes me not even get to know anymore about them.
My problem will always be trust. I will never trust anyone and moreso someone new. I feel like people are lying all of the time or just not upfront about what they really want and because of that you always end up getting yourself into a situation that you could have avoided if you just hadn’t put yourself out there.
I figured out that I want someone who will be around but not all the time. I still think I need my own space and being around someone too much is something I can’t deal with. Some outings to movies and dinner would be fine but to say that I want to graduate past that point and say that I like someone enough to want to move in eventually … Is really just not something I would honestly consider.
I think because everyone keeps saying I should meet someone and I’m wasting all my “good” years and I should want to be with someone is really why I feel like I should find someone… Not really because I truly believe I should look for someone.
While I know I’m old enough to be “expired” in the grand scheme of getting to know someone new and having children … I think that’s just how it’s going to be. I’m just not interested.