I always tell myself I’m going to get into a consistent wellness routine. Nothing too lengthy but I suppose something bordering on consistency. A consistent skin care regime … Or meditative time… Or exercise. Yet somehow I can never stick to a routine.
I would start off for a two days or so but then after the first week I’m back to my regular scenario – in bed. I always feel tired and everything seems like just a lot of effort. Even basic routines I might try to implement don’t last.
I can’t seem to get excited about or into anything with enough zeal for it to last. I suppose I should not be surprised. I don’t have a general zeal about life so why would I have it about anything IN life?
I started back running a bit this week… It’s an on and off relationship I’ve had for many years now… I would keep it up for a few months (2-3) then fall off for like 6 then start back up again. The hardest part is just actually dressing and leaving the house … Once I’m outside I enjoy it. I’m going to see if I can get back into doing it for a while and not let so much time pass by where I’m inactive.
This year more than ever I think I’m more alone than even before. I have far less “friends” than I used to have, barely any actually. Nowhere to go nothing to do except work. And the being alone isn’t the problem I don’t think I want to be with someone I just think I need to spend my alone time “better”. If that makes any sense…
I think being alone should somehow make me work on being a better person even if I don’t “like” life per se. I feel like I should be working on my physical and psychological well being in a definite way even if it’s not for the benefit of anyone else. I need to find a way to be interested enough in doing things for me because I AM me.