I had my first “major surgery” in life yesterday. I always had breathing problems due to a deviated septum which made breathing through my right side minimal at best. Added to that I also had consistently swollen turbinates which means my regulation of temperature sucks. I would get facial swelling and nose bleeds anytime it got “cold” and by cold I mean anything under 27 degrees Celsius would make it kick in.
I didn’t tell many people I was going to get it done at first because.. It’s surgery ON your face. Not exactly the best place to want someone cutting you open and the many things that could go wrong.
But I am not afraid of death in itself I mean no one is getting out of this life alive, so I didn’t go into it afraid of dying but I also didn’t go into it wanting to feel ill for a long time after. I told myself if I made it out I was going to get better and fast. (Trying to convince myself mind over matter was all I needed).
I’d never been under general anesthetic before and did not know what to expect. My experience with the general anesthetic was that I felt I was on fire… Like acid burning hell’s fire. As it went into my hand it moved like a wave up my arm and across from chest. Luckily I went unconscious before really beginning to panic. I remember thinking is it supposed to feel this way but not being able to ask it aloud. I guess I was under for close to two hours in all.
What no one tells you about this surgery is just how much blood drains down into your stomach… And that this blood has to find a way back out. Cue close to ten hours of sporadic throwing up of blood. I assume the anesthetic didn’t help either. Finally after sucking on gravol since I couldn’t even keep down a tablet, the throwing up began to relent and I was able to keep down soup by today.
They did warn me my voice may change as a result of the surgery but so far it sounds the same to me. But.. My face is different. Granted it’s too slight for the average person to probably notice but I knew it as soon as I saw myself in the mirror and my mother noticed it as once as well. I guess whatever they did to amend the septum caused a change in the appearance of my nose. It will take a while to get used to the fact it’s not exactly the one I’ve known for the past going on 33 years. It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just .. Different for now.
It’s now only the day after surgery and I feel a lot better tonight for sure than I did earlier so I’m hoping by the weekend to be back to myself. Doctor visit will be next week and I will get his prognosis but so far I think recovery is going well, solid food tomorrow will tell.
I’m hoping that this improves my breathing and that I’m not hindered so much anymore whenever there is a temperature change as travelling abroad was becoming a real task.
My parents were there the whole time and lots of people (family/friends) messaged about my well being and I appreciate them all for their concern. I didn’t really think that many people would have time to even care to be honest.
Having this surgery so close after the near accident and coming out of it in pretty good shape seems to be life telling me again that there is some reason as to why I keep finding myself here. There is a purpose and meaning to my presence even if I am not always ready to admit it.