Yesterday I almost legitimately could have died. This wouldn’t have been the first time some major near death calamity has happened to me. But the actual feeling of this experience was … Strange.
I left work at 11 am with a friend to get lunch and there was a fine rain, nothing big. We were in her van, no weight in the tray. We have the largest round about in the world in my country, known just as The Savannah. It’s three lanes and usually ppl park along the inside lane closest to the roundabout but cars can still pass in the lane as well as its wide enough ( it’s 2.2 miles distance around the perimeter of the roundabout – huge).
As we turned a corner on the inside lane we picked up a skid. It was as if it was in slow motion. I could vaguely hear the screech of the tires yet I was more concentrated on the fact that we were making a full 180 degree turn to the left straight into the other two lanes.
It was like being on glass. When we came to a stop we were facing south- north instead of west- east blocking all three lanes of traffic who all managed to stop just less than four feet from my passenger door. If we had been hit I / we would’ve been dead for sure… At midday… 1 min from work where people knew we just left for pizza and 3 mins from my own home where my parents were far from because they took a day trip to visit family.
Now if anyone knows The Savannah… 1) There’s usually ALWAYS people parked along the lane we were in and that day there was not a soul. 2) Usually at that hour there is lunchtime traffic and somehow no one was in close proximity to us. 3) skids at that particular corner are prevalent and most times you end up crashed INTO the Savannah which we didn’t 4) drivers usually are going so fast behind you they can’t stop in time which they all did.
My friend said she felt her heart racing although I can’t say I felt the same. I felt calm… Underwater almost. There was just a sense of slowness about the whole thing for me.
Later on people attributed God being present… Guardian angels… Luck… Who knows. One remarked to me it clearly wasn’t my time to go and I still have a purpose here. The fact that my boyfriend died in a car accident never necessarily made me feel that may be the way I would go as well…. Though I did wonder if maybe he was looking out for me wherever he was up there.
I suppose it’s one of those experiences that will stay with you for a while on your mind, until the random mundane every life experiences drown it out. But even though in the moment I thought to myself if we get hit we’re not making it out of this one… Something told me it wasn’t going to be the end. Not yet.
I told my mother but my father doesn’t know anything. His recovery has been relatively quiet lately so I didn’t want to upset the equilibrium. No ransom upset = no excuse to use drugs. Though my mother isn’t much of a talker I’m sure it upset her a bit but… This is life and no one gets out of it alive. We should just try to do the best at it while we’re here and that is something I know I have to keep reminding myself all of the time whenever I feel like I don’t want to live.
I’ve still got more to do.