Home… The calm before the storm. 

They found the body of my friend three days after he had been missing at sea. I’m glad he can be brought home and the family given some sort of “closure”. 

But for those of us who have lost loved ones/ lovers before… We know the shit doesn’t really sink in until after the funeral. 

It is a fucked up way to end this year and start the next. Every year I’m saying good riddance to the year gone by… Will there be any year where the year’s end will arrive and I will actually feel a bit sad to see it go? Is there anything more to life other than loss? 

This is probably where I should feel like living each moment to the fullest is necessary or cherish everyone in your life before they’re gone or even life’s too short to be angry at events and people… 

But all I feel is tired. Tired of having to go through the same shit every year of a life that revolves around an addict, death of people and a general sense of failure. 

I’ve tried the daily motivational quotes, writing one good thing a day, taking a picture a day… Just about everything. But I haven’t found that “thing” just yet to really improve the mindset. I’m hoping that it comes as an epiphany in 2016 because right now I need it … 



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