Bring him home

Events in life really make you question why things happen the way they do. You know there is no answer but you question it anyway. 

On December 26 someone I knew through my boyfriend years ago disappeared while swimming at his family’s beach house. Today December 28 he still has not been found. 

His family, wife and friends are still hopeful he will be found alive… Though deep down the ever present and increasingly resounding dread is there… That the more time has passed and the worse the weather has become that the more unlikely their wishes. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about my boyfriend and when he died. His death was instant and he felt no pain… According to one coroner “he didn’t even know when he died”. Thank God for small mercies I suppose. But the end result is the same. He’s … Gone, Removed, Missing… Whatever you want to call it. Void. 

It still makes me mad… Why did he have to die… Why did any of them? My boyfriend… His friend… other friends we have had… All in their 20s / early 30s. They were all young full of potential good people.Why does this happen? 

The last few days have just been … Anxious and depressing. Scouring social media and the news for any updates but same result – nothing. No findings. I hope for everyone’s sake that they find him … Either by some miracle alive or if not… that there could be closure to some small extent. 

I think not knowing whatever happened to him would be the worst result. Forever having hope… Without any real answer. A Cruel punishment. 

The realities of life can be harsh. Especially when it involves death. You feel like no one else in the world understand your loss and everyone has moved on and forgotten your loved one except you. 

I have travelled that road and I am still travelling it. It is not easy. I would not wish it on anyone. There is so much pain to endure … Those left behind to mourn need strength. We all do. 



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