I think maybe my problem is that I have no… Goals. I think of life as being before my boyfriend died and after he died.
Before he died I had already done so many things.. A degree, a masters, a post grad diploma… I already had a stable job while doing some of those things and still have that job now.
After he died I just didn’t do anything. I work and I do performance/ theatre but… There’s no real “anything” outside of that. I work and that’s it.
But I don’t feel to go back to school. I can’t focus on anything long enough for it to stick… I exercise off and on or would get interested in things for a month or two but… Nothing that really holds my interest.
I’ve achieved things and now I have no real zeal or goal to work towards. So maybe that’s why I’m not really interested in anything at all. I haven’t found a goal to work towards now.
I’m still trying to focus on finding good little things in each day much less trying to find a major thing to work towards. But since a new year is coming maybe I could think about finding something to work towards and see if that makes life seem more meaningful.