Gratitude

In nar-anon meetings you come across the concept of gratitude. Gratitude prayers at night if you can’t sleep… Writing down what you are grateful for as part of your steps… Thinking of what you are grateful for when you are having a hard day and one day at a time becomes more like one minute at a time. 

I think we often forget to acknowledge being grateful for things. Additionally, personalities like mine that are anxious/ depressed/ often panicked focus on so much negative that gratitude is something often neglected or thought of in small doses. 

I am going back out to work tomorrow after vacation and I can already feel the anxiety and panic. I foresee frustration and already envision situations that are going to cause me anger/ impatience. So I decided maybe a gratitude list is in order.

Things I am grateful for – 

  1. My mother- whose unconditional love is non- judge mental and always accepting 
  2. Relative nationpeace – despite living in what can be seen as a crime filled third world country it is not a war torn country with refugees trying and often dying to escape it/ not a place where ones survival is always in question 
  3. My friends – I may not have many “true” friends but those that I have are as understanding / supportive/ encouraging / fun as can possibly be
  4. My dogs – my girls/ my babies/ my loves. (No further explanation needed) 
  5. A job – as stressful and as irritating as it can be it allows me to actively use my mind and still engage in what I love (literature) and it allows me to provide enough for myself, something that many others out there are struggling to do
  6. Health – high blood pressure and polycystic ovaries / weak cervical cells aside I’ve got all my limbs, my mind (some of the time), perfect eyesight and everything else is in good enough working condition 
  7. Nature – I suppose this is the closest to being grateful to a Higher Power or God. I love nature… Looking at it… Taking pictures of it… Being in it. I love the Caribbean landscape and the beauty and peace that it exudes… To me it’s probably the closest thing to a celestial experience on earth to be exposed to nature. 

These are the major things that come to mind tonight as I am here … Reminders that at the end of the day it’s not all bad in fact it’s really probably pretty damn great or at least good enough. 

There will always be times when I hate things about experiences or feel that the choices I made could have been better but these are a few things that make it seem as if there is hope still in finding happiness in this journey … With these people/animals/surroundings… With life.

  

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