I have a sort of “long lost” cousin visiting from Canada so yesterday we made a family trip and took him Down D Islands (often referred to as DDI).
DDI is a handful of tiny islands off the coast of our main island where people own vacation homes that they get to via boat.
I hadn’t been to my family house down there in about two decades. I generally stopped going DDI in general because it reminds me too much of my boyfriend and his best friend ( who died a year before he did- also in a car accident).
It brings back old memories of when we first started dating and would go down there for days on end and just hang out. It’s a life I used to live that I no longer experience now so it was very strange yesterday revisiting this place that was so full of memories that I choose not to think about.
However, the day was extremely sunny and the water was warm. My cousin was fascinated by the warmth of the water ( he’s from Nova Scotia area so EVERYTHING is cold it seems). So we spent the day lounging in the water on noodles/ boards and relaxing on the jetty.
My few of my uncles were there as well ( drinking and smoking of course ) but it was nice to hear them reminisce about times gone by. They spoke of my father a lot (who obviously could not be invited to go because of all the alcohol and such).. That he was the smartest of them and the best footballer.
It was sad in a way that we acknowledge these things about him still after all this time and that he doesn’t see it in himself. Alsothat his addiction had so totally consumed his life that he can’t even be asked to go on these outings because he just would not be able to keep it together.
This is my cousins second visit in the past six months and so far he has not met my father. Christmas time… Well alcohol goes without saying at that time here so my father was barely anywhere to be found let alone in a state to be introduced to visiting family. Maybe this time my cousin will meet him before he goes…
Sometimes I wish everything was “normal” and we could do normal family things… But then what’s normal?… I know I just have to accept that the way we are is probably as good as it gets and that really it could be worse. It’s just to try to enjoy the little moments of peace as they come.