It can be really tiring living with an underlying sense of unease/ anxiety all the time. It’s something that is always with you, living under your skin Iike some parasite.
Nothing is wrong. The week was actually pretty good. Got paid, hung out with friends a bit, the addict is only being mildly irritating – probably as good as life gets.
Yet the mind always finds something to jump ahead to, to worry about and feel anxious over. I don’t know if this happens to other people… Why is it so hard to just live in and enjoy the moment.
It’s like little scenarios play in my mind all the time of instances that could cause me anxiety or get me angry although they haven’t happened yet. If I want to go out I’m already worried about traffic, I have to go back out to work in a month I’m already imagining being frustrated when I go, I have to go to the bank I feel like I won’t get through without stress. It’s never ending.
I would have to be overly busy/ inundated be something for this not to happen. I think that’s why I like going TO the movies so much even though it’s expensive. I don’t think when I’m in the cinema watching a show. I’ve always found this to help since my boyfriend died and it’s something I do alone all the time.
I wonder if there will ever come a time when I will feel content enough with life not to worry about things that haven’t even happened continuously.