I’ve always loved action movies… And war movies. I think it’s a particular attraction (In some cases obsession) to the main character… A fighter / survivor that cannot be conquered.
I like the myth/legend that is created around the particular character…be it Rambo, Rocky, Mad Max, The Terminator… There’s always been something alluring about how the character fights to survive.
I don’t know if it’s because I’ve never been passionate about anything in that way… not even about life itself. Maybe I see a drive in them that I wish to have about something.. Anything. Or maybe I want that strength that they have to defeat huge obstacles.
I’ve always been attracted to men who were unlike me. I’ve graduated university three times and had one job for over a decade -stability is my thing… while they usually hadn’t ever finished high school and moved from job to job (or no job). They were the total opposite of stable in their day to day lives.
But there was something about all of them physically or personality wise that made me feel like they could protect me.
Maybe I have this subconscious idealistic feeling for a hero to save me from myself and my life. A person who won’t necessarily bind me to the conventional relationship but instead give me mystery and adventure… The things I’m too afraid of doing on my own… Make me see life in a different way and have that sense of excitement that I see but never feel.
I’m holding out for a hero.