Addict (story # zillion?) 

Anyone who lives with an addict knows what is like when the addict SEEMS to be doing ok and then they decide to go back using. 

When my addict retired he spent every cent of his gratuity on drugs. Then his Savings. Then sold his car to get more money. Then took a loan. Now that my mother is newly retired and he has no more money to spend aside from his pension (which he spends) he wants to get his hands on what she has. 

It’s always a quiet spell but he’s thinking / musing/ brooding really about whatever it is he is going to grouse about then will find an excuse to use and when high (and if I’m not around) he will start the argument and be threatening. It’s very calculated and is not just about addiction but the type of personality he has along with his addiction. 

My mother’s personality is a quiet one unlike mine and so he feels he can intimidate her more when I am not around. This is how it’s always been and its fucking old now. I’m fed up and tired of his stupid ungrateful nasty attitude which to me is there all the time just underlying. 

I’m done with thinking things have settled and we can pretend to be a semi normal family and then all of a sudden there’s a situation like this. I’m fed up of talking and mediating because it feels like a waste of time. 

This is why I always feel trapped. Trapped in this because I live here and they are my parents and if I move out I would always be worried about what’s going on when I’m not here or having to come here because of some drama. 

There is no escape because he will be an addict until he dies. 

P.s : he’s in perfect health. 

  

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