Summer vacation is supposed to be a fun relaxing time that people enjoy. But these two months of vacation loom before me every year since my boyfriend died.
It starts off ok enough… I go cinema, have a few lunch dates but after about a week the inevitable depression sets in. Knowing that the anniversary of his passing is nearing always sinks me into a dark morose sleepless place.
Every year even though I try to find ways to keep occupied I tend to lose a hold on sanity after a while.
Tomorrow is the last day of the term so I’m anxious about being home. I’m hoping that as years go by it gets better… I know I have to keep busy somehow doing work at home, reading, trying to keep up exercising.
I know it’s too much to expect that I’ll be fine but I hope that it’s bearable enough so that I don’t feel as low as I usually do.