Layering. 

Unfurl your many 

Layers to reveal your inside –

No apologies. 

  

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A better day 

I started out my summer vacation very depressed as usual. The first two weeks were very dark. The last two has not been AS bad as usual. However next week will be the five year anniversary since my boyfriend died so I can’t say how my frame of my will be then. 

I spend most of each day in my bed. I don’t venture out much at all. Today was sunny and I realized I had not gone outside in my yard and looked at any flowers maybe in close to a month ( well since I’ve been home). Everything was bright and in bloom. 

It definitely improved my mood and there was the added surprise that we apparently started growing tomatoes (who knew!). I know I could do more to get myself out of the slump I’m always in because I haven’t been going out or even exercising but it’s hard when you get comfortable just not moving from your space/ hole/ bed. 

I was also surprised just something as simple as watching beauty bloggers on YouTube the past few days helped. It’s nothing too serious, it has nothing to do with all the depressing news in the world and its gotten me to look forward to my Miami trip I’m supposed to take next year February. So it’s something to look forward to. 

Maybe I will get through this year after all. 

 P.s: these are the random tomatoes 

 

Last two days… (nation cont’d)

The last few days have been very tense throughout the country. We suffered a well orchestrated jail break of three inmates within the city’s capital.

With clear inside help, they got away only to crash near the city’s general hospital and a shoot out ensued with police leaving one escapee dead and two on the run. As of last night one escapee on the run was shot dead (not from police- reprisal killing? Vigilante killing?) leaving one on the loose still.

This was coupled with a number of men finally being charged on the same evening of the jail break for the assassination of a senior council lawyer last year. Yet there is no motive/ true “leader” charged for orchestrating this hit only the men who supposedly carried it out.

Ours is a beautiful country that is suffering a steady decay from its government down to its people. Rife with corruption within the police service, prison service and general government agencies, there is a clear lack of control and/or will to regain it.

Since I live within the capital all of this took place walking distance really from my house. So the last few days we have just been staying close to home.

At first I was engrossed with the news as was everyone else but as time went on and no real answers given by Prime Minister, police commissioner or prison guards I shut off. I’m fed up of the lies. This on top of an oncoming election with no party to vote for.

With the shame of us even making it to CNN news, I just wanted to escape. With no place to escape to I ended up just looking at beauty blogs on YouTube. Something I never do. But I just wanted to do / see something that was totally opposite to what was flooding our news.

I realized if I really thought about what was taking place I would be depressed about what we had become a prejudiced, divisive, hostile, selfish people, easily diverted from real issues.

There was a well-known local song once called “bring back the old time days“. But we can’t go back, only forward, yet unless there is change within each citizen and true accountability we may not have a future to move forward to.