Today was one of those days where it seemed like everyone / everything is intent on pissing me off. Reminding myself not to let these things anger me always comes just a little too late after a meltdown. When will I learn not to sweat the small stuff?
As a high strung, type “a” personality my life is fraught with the challenge of dealing with people. People’s inadequacies, inefficiencies, and what I feel is just general stupidity at times.
Maintaining a sense of balance and calm, while key in these instances, is probably the most overwhelming task for me everyday. Sometimes I wonder if I’m addicted to anger/ vexation and just chaos.
I know it comes down to practice – practicing all the readings, practicing meditation and practicing enjoying life. To be good at anything even the type of existence you want I suppose you have to practice it.
The frustration of a day tends to hover over me like shroud… I mull over it, dissecting it second by second instead of letting it go. It is by sheer will that I cast it aside but that tends to be days even weeks later.
When will I learn to control my life instead of letting events control me? When will I learn not to sweat the small stuff?