I have always been a predator by nature. I see what I like and once there’s an instant attraction I hunt – until I get it.
Society however dictates that women should be hunted. Prey that should skulk, hide and play shy. Yet somehow I could never adhere to the rules of engagement when it pertained to men.
I know that my personality is one that is not conducive to playing the games that are expected when meeting someone/ dating. I have tried it… But I am never successful.
I feel like / know that I have disappointed my family. As an only child and oldest grandchild there is an expectation that I would’ve been long married with children by now. I feel badly because they are so hopeful for something that I don’t feel is likely (or even necessarily appealing).
I try to just stay away from the opposite sex entirely and go on a life long sabbatical (though I have yet to be successful). It’s good in theory, yet I end up convincing myself to give meeting people one more try yet there is always disappointment.
It has been a lifelong challenge to find someone who could accept a personality as strong as my own and complement it without trying to change me. As well as, I fear trying to change myself for someone and being unable to keep up the pretense.
It seems some of us simply will always remain the Lone Wolf without a pack.