There’s something about the idea of ‘feeling worthy’ that seems to bring about a certain level of shame. How does one measure self-worth and what they are worthy of? It’s as if you don’t want to put yourself too ‘high up’ in fear that others will say you are out of place /not worthy enough for those aspirations. Plus, a lot of those feelings about self-worth seem to be tied to things of the past – I wasn’t a ‘good’ person before and so I must suffer for the rest of the time left, though the idea of ‘good’ in itself is relative.  What do we have to do to convince ourselves that we are worthy of the positive things that life has to offer and openly accept them if they come?

Self-worth is always a tricky issue for me. I know what I would LIKE to be worthy of in theory, though I don’t think I am deserving of it. I always feel that those things are for OTHER people out there and not myself. It is hard to see others ‘succeed’ in these areas and know that those things have not happened to you and wonder if the universe isn’t telling you that you just aren’t worthy enough for it. Granted being worthy of something still doesn’t ensure that you will get it, but there must be a certain sense of relief feeling that you COULD if the timing is ever right.

I know there are a few things I need to do before I truly believe that I am worthy of what I desire inside. I NEED to -: Accept, Make Amends, Say Yes and Believe… Accept who I am who I’ve been and who I want to be, Make amends to myself for the past hurts I’ve inflicted upon myself, Say Yes to the life that I’ve been given and Believe that in the end what is for me will be mine.

I hope that one day if I ever accomplish doing what I know I need to do… I would be worthy. Worthy of what? Worthy of -: love, companionship, honesty, security, friendship, happiness, sharing, compassion, loyalty, goodness, care, trust, family, peace, stability… Life.

Nature 66

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