Of all the personal struggles faced, Acceptance is probably the hardest for me. I question if this is all that life is… The state of things and what I have at this very moment, and if it is, then can I accept that?
In the grand scheme of things I should be happy… I have a job (well two), a roof over my head and amenities and my own car. It’s a perfectly suitable middle class lifestyle for someone my age. So… What is the problem?
Granted… FOR my age I’m not married and I have no children which is a huge Mark / milestone in society. Along with the fact that I’ve been alive for three decades but question if what I’ve done in that time has really impacted at all upon any aspect of this world. So does that mean I’ve failed? I haven’t done anything “wrong” but is what I’ve done “right”? … Even if it’s failure in one aspect of my life, failure is not something I like to admit.
I’d like to think that somehow even if I don’t achieve those things in life that are the “norm”, I will still find happiness in what is there. If this is my best … I want to believe it is good enough and accept that the outcome might not be like the end result of others.
But it is hard. Measuring ourselves against others is something we constantly do even though we know we should not.
I want to sit one day and think to myself “I’m okay with this as my life” and really mean it.